There is this slow progression from being concerned to embracing social activism for the good of humanity into self-righteous behavior. You often don't know it's happening. You see, your friends feel the same way, you read articles that support your thinking and, when you do speak, you're often debating point for point and fact for fact.
Those debates feel so good. You get braver and you move off those folks known to be moderate may have no idea on where the original statement came from. You love a good fight, a healthy debate so you dip your "pen" in the dark, dark zones. There they call you a BABY KILLER for doing the March. And in another, they call you a stupid "c".
In my America, we should wear our hats safely
You get a little frightened and you change your privacy settings. Will they come find me? Will they hurt my dogs? You stop wearing your March cap even though you love the look and you think it makes you cool and cute. Will someone say something to me if they see me wearing it? Will I be called a baby killer or a "c"?
But, you're on the right side, right? Of course! Yes, I am right!
Today, at the Post Office, I became what I fear the most.
I walked in and there was a man walking out of the first section. He had a beautiful smile - wide and toothy. He welcomed me with that smile and a friendly hello. I returned the same. Then I noticed... he wore a red baseball cap. I couldn't help myself and I peered closely at it. There it was, "Make America Great Again".
As much I tried to hold my tongue, I heard these words leaving my mouth, "You know, I hate that hat and everything it represents."
This man, whom I already categorized and judged, replied as gently and calmly as I did, "I know and that's OK." His smile was a little less brilliant but his eyes were bright and peaceful. I nodded and went in.
I stopped before the door shut, turned and walked back out to him. "I am sorry that I said that to you. It was rude and wrong." He smiled and said, "That's ok."
For one moment today, I became a deplorable. And, that is never ok!
So I spent many a year dealing with my "anger" issues. I smiled when I wanted to scream. In negotiations, I got what I wanted more often than not by pushing, prodding and relentless badgering. Things had an intensity that far outweighed any potential disastrous results. Everything felt like a life and death battle - win or perish.
Gotta say, the result of all those battles, all those perceived threats and all that intensity was a lonely, fearful life always on guard... just waiting for the house of cards to fall. And, you know? A healthy, happy life can not be sustained if one is living only to control the next disaster...
So why is everyone so ANGRY? {rhetorical question}
I'd love to blame it on the new Administration, but alas, this has been building up far longer than the 2016 election. Our rhetoric has gotten so ugly that even well constructed arguments often have hate and anger built in.
One poster (with well over 1,000 friends) touted the strengths of the very recent pick for the Supreme Court and then added - "But the main reason why I know the pick is brilliant is that liberals are apoplectic over it. " I was confused on why he'd be happy that "liberals would be apoplectic over
it". {another rhetorical question.} It's a comment that is intended to inflame in what otherwise was a
well constructed opinion
It's almost surreal. It's like there is an alternate universe out there spinning good things into bad. And, when there is something really good, something so inherently impossible to make bad someone in the alternate universe connects the goodness to an unrelated bad.
Has a ROBUST veterans program
Was not illegal!
Here is a meme, one of many that get posted everyday. It must feel good to the poster that they had a say, but what did they say? Do they know that Starbucks has a great program to hire vets and provide resources for their families? Sadly, they post without research. Oh and before you get all high and mighty, I see this type of unresearched inflammatory stuff from the other perspective. BTW, DT's mother was not illegal!
It's like the anger, the life and death daily battle I waged in the past is now Americana. Do we need collective therapy? Do we need to spend hours shopping for the right self help book? Do we need a good 12 step program for being addicted to our own opinions? Or do we simply need to let go of being right and pray to be open to other ideas.
Anger will not change anyone. Battling is all about winning or losing. What if we engaged someone in conversation and I mean conversation, not holding silent while another talks until we get to talk. I mean listening to understand and holding the belief that letting go of an idea or perceived truth is not loss but gain.
Of course, all this is incredibly easy IF I listen to you AND you believe everything I say AND agree that it is the real truth. Oh my, that would be easy... but that too is living in an alternative universe.
Alas, social warriors (lower case or capital letter types), this may be a time of name-calling and personal attacks. Key word is "may". I encourage all of us to take the tenacity of our past and calmly pray for the goodness of humankind. If Americana needs a bit of self-help and therapy, maybe our role is to be it's counselor by helping it find its way without fighting to win. We can guide it with information, truth and kind persistency.
OK, I'd be a liar if I didn't admit that I often reach for the non-existent WTF icon... I am still human! Now, let's do that thang!
As much I tried to hold my tongue, I heard these words leaving my mouth, "You know, I hate that hat and everything it represents."
